Defining Epic
by SparkELee
Summary: When it all comes down around her, Puck's the one who picks up the pieces and makes it all right. St. Berry/Puckleberry. T for language.


A one-shot inspired by "The Power of Madonna".

St. Rachel/ Puckleberry

Define Epic

The shit storm that had descended upon the McKinley High Glee Club was most definitely a thorn in Noah Puckerman's side, as if he didn't have enough of those lately.

And the fallout that resulted from the shit storm? Most definitely not his fault.

OK, sure, he might've seen Berry and Jesse St. Assface out to dinner a few nights back. And maybe he'd seen Crazy and the Douche walking to her car after a visit to the arcade where he certainly could have seen Berry win her secret boyfriend a Care Bear.

Like he could have done anything about it anyways. What was he supposed to do?? Tell the whole club?? Warn them about her secret dates? Tell Finn she wasn't going to come around anytime soon? Try to talk some sense into her? Tell her he knew what she up to?

_Actually, probably should've done that…_

He was disrupted from his train of thought by a swift elbow in the ribs from the very nuisance he'd had the displeasure of thinking about.

Now, granted, it probably wasn't a good idea for him to lose himself in thought in the middle of rehearsal but hell, that's the way his mind worked.

"Seriously Noel, we've done this like, 9 times and you haven't gotten it right once!" Jesse informed him, clearly not afraid of the significantly larger boy standing in front of him.

"It's Noah, but you can call me Puck." He shot back, crossing his arms in front of himself, his gaze rested briefly on Berry before returning to the pretty boy standing in front of him.

"Rachel calls you Noah."

He rolled his eyes, because seriously? That's the game he's gonna play? Fine, Puck was more than prepared for a beat down, verbal or otherwise. He glanced at Rachel, his look almost apologetic. 

"Yeah well, Berry earned that right. And since I'm not interested in letting you do what she did, you'll have to settle for Puck." He snapped, his intense hazel eyes boring into Jesse's.

For his part, Jesse's face reddened as he turned to meet his girlfriend's eyes.

"You dated him too?!" He questioned, his voice a little hollow and a tad disbelieving.

Finn, sure, he could handle Finn. Finn was an overgrown idiot who had yet to learn his left hand from his right.

But Puck? Fucking PUCK? He wasn't prepared for Puck. Puck fucking ruled McKinley (Puck's words, not his) and he wasn't above reminding anyone of that blatant fact, babygate drama be damned.

"It was only for 4 days Jesse. And I didn't do anything to "earn" any of the privileges he's talking about." She reassured him, her face red with both embarrassment and anger. Her eyes flashed dangerously at Puck.

For his part, Puck rolled his eyes. "Dude, Berry you know it was 7 days, and don't sell yourself short babe, you more than earned your privileges." He reminded her before raising his eyebrows suggestively in her direction.

A moment later they were all treated to their very first Jesse St. James storm out.

Rachel shot a murderous glare in Puck's direction before running after her boyfriend.

Puck's fit of laughter was cut short by a stern look from Schue.

"Puck, I suggest you go after them and fix this." The older man suggested firmly.

"Dude, Mr. Schue, he totally started it." Puck argued back, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Puck, this is not up for discussion. We have Regionals in less than a month, we don't have time for this, go."

He sighed heavily and stomped down the risers and headed off in the general direction the dramatic duo had run off in.

After checking the customary Berry hiding places, (auditorium, library, supply closet down the hall from her locker) his frustration was beginning to take over. He didn't generally make it habit of hunting the crazy.

As he rounded a corner, he heard someone speaking in hushed tones.

_Thank fuck I found them. _

He strode towards the voice only to stop short at the first set of words he was able to make out.

"It's all going exactly as we planned. I'll stay for a couple weeks more and make absolutely sure she's fallen for me then I'll stage my triumphant return to Vocal Adrenaline." He heard Jesse say.

_Jesus, why does that always happen to me!?_

He turned, running a hand through his thin strip of hair and ran smack into the midget herself.

"Excuse me! I'm so-Oh, it's you." She snapped, changing her tone once she realized who she'd run into.

He rolled his eyes skyward. He was definitely going to have to do the right thing now.

"Come with me Berry." He instructed her as he grabbed her arm and pulled her around the corner.

"Unhand me Noah!" She hissed, attempting to wrench her arm from his grasp.

He clamped a hand over her mouth. "You're going to listen now. I just overheard your 'boyfriend' on the phone with someone, probably his coach, telling her he's only going to school here so he can get to you. He's going to break up with you the week before Regionals. He's trying to take us down." He informed her.

Rachel's eyes widened momentarily before narrowing.

_Here we go, shit storm number two._

"What is with the boys at this school?! Is it really so impossible to believe that he likes me for me!? That maybe his intentions are pure and this isn't about winning?!! Maybe he gets me! Maybe he actually thinks I'm worth all the consequences!" She spat back, her brown eyes flashing dangerously.

Damn it. He wasn't trying to hurt her. He was actually trying to warn her and now she didn't fucking believe him.

Not that he could really blame her for that.

He sighed heavily and knew what he had to do.

He grabbed her arm and tugged her towards the alcove where he'd heard Jesse's covert conversation.

Lucky (or unlucky) for him, the bastard was still on the phone.

Puck pushed her towards the shaggy haired boy.

"Don't wanna be believe me? Fine, hear it for yourself." He whispered as he guided her forward.

"Coach, it's no problem. I'm more than happy to do this for the team, and it's not like she's making it difficult, she's practically putty in my hands. Ok, got it, I'll make sure I wait til the week before to end it. Thanks Coach. Bye."

He snapped the phone shut and strode off in the opposite direction, not seeing his girlfriend standing three feet behind him.

She turned, her chocolate eyes now spilling tears down her face.

Puck winced at the sight of the tracks on her face.

_Damn it._

"I thought… I thought he liked me. I thought he came here because he wanted to be with me. He… He said I deserved… I deserved an epic romance." She muttered through her tears.

He felt her words yank his heart strings painfully. The world was just not out to make life easy for Rachel Berry.

He reached an arm out and pulled her into him, her nose just brushing his chest.

"You do deserve epic Berry, you do. And the only thing epic about him is that he's an epic douche." He whispered quietly.

Her giggle was barely audible with her face buried in her chest.

She lifted her head a few moments later. He shot her a small, but genuine smile.

He shifted her in his arms and turned her back towards the choir room, his arm still firm around her shoulders.

"Noah?"

"Berry."

"Do you think I'll ever get the hang of this whole dating thing?" She asked, her question lacking all the big words she was so fond of.

He chuckled deep in his throat and tightened his grasp on her shoulders. "You will, and Berry, trust me, when it happens, it _will_ be epic."

Hopefully I'll be back with more updates later today.


End file.
